Consent and Relationships

Consent should be an ongoing conversation in any intimate relationship. Our sexual boundaries evolve and shift as much as we do. People are ever changing, therefore it makes sense that you want to talk about consent.

It’s important to talk about the role of consent inside and outside of the sexual relationship. Conduct with ex’s, how much intimate information is shared among friends, family, co-workers. All of that falls under consent. You and your partner are different people and it’s important that neither of you assumes that you have the same boundaries. Consent at its essence is about communication.

So how do you approach this with your partner? Reader, without knowing the specifics of your relationship or what you want to talk about, I’m going to assume that you are in a healthy sexual relationship, one where your partner is receptive to your wants and needs. 

I suggest trying to have regular conversations about the “state of your union”

You can come up with a list of weekly check in questions that cover consent and other important things that pertain to your specific relationship.

Ex: Did You/I feel listened to? Seen? Respected, and heard this week? 

The aim is to normalize conversations about consent (among other topics) with you and your boo(s). You now both have an opportunity to practice the art of communication and the onus doesn’t fall on one person to do the communicating.

However, if you feel that you may lose your partner, be in danger, or feel unsafe. You should consider reaching out to your support circle or a mental health professional. Everyone should feel safe in their relationship!